By Dan Brown

Some say the ultimate test of an actor’s abilities is to play the part of Hamlet, the melancholy Danish prince. 

They’re wrong.

The ultimate test of an actor is to play Scrooge, the protagonist of the much-adapted Charles Dickens novella A Christmas Carol.

Scrooge goes from an unrepentant miser to the holiday’s most-devoted adherent in a matter of a few hours. To do so believably requires range, my friends.

Among the legendary performers who have essayed the part are Alastair Sim, George C. Scott, Michael Caine, and Patrick Stewart, who died last week.

We can now add a new name to the list with the release of Ebenzer on Nov. 13: Johnny Depp.

Which brings up the obvious question: Was anybody demanding yet another big-screen re-telling of the Scrooge story, particularly one featuring Captain Jack Sparrow in the title role?

Haven’t we had enough of this tale? 

Don’t we all know it off by heart at this point? 

Scrooge is visited by ghosts, sees the consequences of his cheap and cruel ways, is forced to confront his own mortality, then has a change of heart. That’s how it goes every time, right?

Apart from its gothic horror flavour, the trailers I’ve seen for the new flick make it look like just another Christmas Carol movie. 

At least 1988’s Scrooged had the advantage of Bill Murray’s comedy chops. And A Muppet Christmas Carol in 1992 had . . .  Muppets.

Sim nailed the part definitively in 1951, which is why his version is a staple of holiday TV every time December rolls around. We didn’t need another remake after that, however it seems there’s nothing we can do to stop them from proliferating. But will we be watching Depp’s Ebenezer in another 75 years? I doubt it.

And if you’re reading this saying, “It’s not just a Scrooge problem,” you’re right.

December will see the release of a six-part Pride and Prejudice series on Netflix. Did anybody ask for yet another one of those? Last month, for some unexplained reason, saw the umpteenth Sense and Sensibility motion picture being released. The latest Wuthering Heights retread came to the multiplex and went without much of a stir earlier this year.

The source material being in the public domain only partially explains the proliferation of such retreads, as does rampant laziness in the entertainment industry. However, it’s too easy to point the finger of blame at Hollywood. The truth is, WE are the ones to blame because we keep giving these things a chance.

So if you go to the theatre to see Ebenezer in a few days, I’m afraid you’re part of the problem. The market will keep offering us the same old thing as long as enough people buy tickets or use their eyeballs to watch stuff they’ve seen countless times before.

Oh, and what’s the ultimate test of a female actor’s abilities? 

Whatever role Meryl Streep is doing next.
 
Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 34 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly Graphic-Novel Group book club.