The Mirthful Man Behind the Mystery Men
By Dan Brown It was August 6, 1999, when Mystery Men was released in movie theatres. As a superhero parody, I believe it stands the test of time all these years – and superhero movies – later. The idea of celebrating a motion picture’s 27th anniversary may seem absurd because journalists are supposed to write stories on the big anniversaries of a film’s debut, like the 10th, the 25th, the 50th – not a nonsensical one like No. 27. But if there’s one person who would appreciate the randomness of a 27th anniversary column, it’s the guy who created the Mystery Men, Bob Burden. I’ll be absolutely candid up front: I can’t, in a column like this, possibly do justice to Burden’s eccentric sense of humour – either in his comics, or in real life. His wit is so sardonic it approaches the poetic. I’ve interviewed him only once, when I was an arts writer at the National Post and did an explainer on the Mystery Men – the B-list comic characters who inspired the movie. “My life goes between total undisciplined mayhem and the discipline of a surgeon having his brow wiped as he’s in the 11th hour of a very touchy operation,” he told me over the phone from Atlanta. Maybe you recall Mystery Men. If not, let me refresh your memory: It stars a group of working-class schmoes who aren’t ready for the superhero big time. They don’t belong in the MCU or the DCU or any other respectable universe. They include the Bowler (Janeane Garofalo), who tosses a mystical bowling bowl with her father’s skull embedded in it. The Shoveler (William H. Macy) is armed with King Arthur’s shovel. The Spleen (Paul Reubens) has only one power: Being able to generate really toxic farts. And Mr. Furious (Ben Stiler) is able to get . . . really angry. They were a direct contrast to glamorous characters who had made the transition to the big screen by the late 1990s, like Batman and Superman. My favourite of the lot was their mentor, the Sphinx, who spoke in aphorisms like: * “He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.” * “When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.” * “When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.” * “You must be like wolf pack, not six pack.” Burden co-wrote the Mystery Men script, infusing the dialogue with his skewed humour. As funny as the picture still is, though, it doesn’t compare to the comics. There are only four issues of the title (which is officially Mysterymen, not Mystery Men, like the movie title). If you really want to understand his characters, and Burden’s ironic view of the world, it’s worth your while to hunt them down. In fact, the very best way to experience Burden’s storytelling is to find the title where the the less-than-super team originally debuted, Flaming Carrot Comics. Burden created Flaming Carrot long before the Mystery Men. That’s where they first appeared, then were spun off from the Carrot’s adventures and seized upon by Hollywood. As the name suggests, Flaming Carrot is a crackpot superhero with a huge carrot mask that has a flame on top. He became simple-minded after his brain was damaged from reading 5,000 comics in one sitting, which means his solution to most situations is to shoot everyone in sight. In their first adventure together, Flaming Carrot teams up with the Mystery Men to fight an army of Nazi boots cloned from the feet of Hitler. I asked Burden where he got the idea for a hero disguised by a giant carrot mask: “It was probably the dumbest idea anybody’s ever come up with for a comic character, so I said, ‘Let’s run with it.’” I was also curious back then about how much of his own personality comes through in Flaming Carrot. “That’s something that a lot of people ask, and I would ask, ‘How much of Flaming Carrot is potentially in all of us?’ I think we all need to go wandering with no direction some day on a sunny afternoon like a baby with his diaper falling off.” That, my friends is Bob Burden in a nutshell. If you dig square superheroes like the Avengers or the Justice League, Mystery Men won’t be your cup of tea. But if you’re in the mood for taking a walk off the beaten path, check them out! Let me know in the comments if you’ve seen Mystery Men. Do you agree it stands up as a spoof of the superhero genre? Is there one you think is better? Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 33 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly Graphic-Novel Group book club.
