But What About the Movie?
By Dan Brown Movie advertising in 2025 is about everything but the movie. What I mean is, the folks in Tinseltown who devise campaigns to advertise big-budget motion pictures, like the latest Mission: Impossible and the upcoming Superman, want the public to be aware of some important details – that have little to do with the content of each film. Why is this a problem? Because Hollywood isn’t exactly doing blockbuster business in the age of streaming. Let me make clear at the outset that I’ve never worked in marketing: This is a civilian take from someone who has never made a movie ad or trailer in his life. All I’m basing my thoughts on are my decades of experience as a moviegoer and movie fan. Let’s start with the obvious example, the publicity campaign for Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning, which landed in theatres last month. Whether you’ve seen it yet or not, you already know one thing about this sequel – that Tom Cruise did his own stunt work. You know this factoid because long before Cruise appeared at the Cannes Film Festival or on TV chat shows, Cruise was bragging about it in online clips that appeared while he was still on location two years ago. What he didn’t talk about while hanging off a brightly coloured biplane was the movie’s premise, or his acting in it, or the script. Or any other detail. Doing his own stunts may be a foolish thing for an actor to do, I don’t know, but I do know it’s an odd claim to make since an action star risking certain death in real life and Cruise’s character risking his on-screen life are two different things. What are we supposed to do with this knowledge? Or think of it this way: Did anyone who bought a ticket to see Final Reckoning walk out of the theatre and say to their date, “That movie was pretty mediocre, but I’m just glad knowing Tom Cruise risked life and limb to make it.” As Peter Suderman over at Reason magazine said in his review, the Mission: Impossible films are “ extravagant stunt spectacles, powered by the awe of watching an aging movie star appear to risk his life for our entertainment.” Not by the plot, or the camera work, or anything else intrinsic to the movie. Another example. As Cruise did, many movie actors appear on TV shows like The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon to drum up interest in their latest work. One question that always comes up while this promoting goes on is how much fun the performers had while making the upcoming feature. This must be very important, as I have never once heard a celebrity plugging the fact they had a bad time on set. There are inevitably anecdotes about what a riot it was to work on the production, and if George Clooney is involved in any way, there will be a story about how he pulled pranks on his co-stars during shooting. Again, does this factor in anyone’s decision to see a particular film over another? Does anyone exiting the movie say, “That was a fantastic film, and knowing the cast had a fun time makes me want to see it again.” Not to be cold, but I don't care. As a moviegoer I just want to be entertained. If a movie is strong, it doesn’t matter to me whether the cast was having fun or utterly miserable. I don’t care. I just want my money’s worth of entertainment. Heck, Martin Sheen had a heart attack during the filming of Apocalypse Now, which can’t have been fun, but I don’t think that fact alone interfered with anyone’s enjoyment or non-enjoyment of the Vietnam War epic. A final example. Word has also reached my online feeds, maybe yours too, how actor David Corenswet put on a large amount of muscle while preparing to play Superman in the James Gunn-directed picture that will reset the DC cinematic universe this summer. These posts show Corenswet pumping iron. Again, I’m not sure what to do with this news nugget. It would be like, if Raging Bull was released today, the studio first released video of Robert De Niro stuffing his face in order to gain the necessary weight to play Jake LaMotta in his over-the-hill years. If publicity tactics like these come across as acts of desperation to you, then I agree. What happened to traditional trailers that tried to give you a sense of the flavour of the film, that boasted about intriguing characters, talented directors and the script’s twists and turns? All of this is another sign Hollywood is in crisis, with the big studios still hurting from the pandemic years and unable to supply a compelling answer to the rise of streaming as the dominant method of entertainment. They’ll do anything to put butts in seats. Now, I’m no marketing genius. But I do see one ploy the Hollywood big brains haven’t used yet that just might work: Try making better movies. Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 32 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly graphic-novel group.
I Hate To Say It, But Movie Dinosaurs Are Not Real
By Dan Brown Dinosaur movies are a thing of the past – and the future. Specifically the near future. This July will see the release of Jurassic World Rebirth, the latest chapter in the long-running series about the prehistoric creatures running amok in our time. This year will also see the debut of Primitive War, which is set in 1968 and fuses the dino flick with the Vietnam War genre (no release date has been set as of this writing). Then, down the road a little bit, Flowervale Street is among the Mesozoic Era offerings coming to the silver screen next year. There have been so many dinosaur pictures, you could trace the history of Hollywood using them, from the age of stop-motion animation to today’s CGI. They’ve gone from clumsy clay creatures to sophisticated computer creations. And that’s the problem. However much time and money the FX wizards in Tinseltown spend to convince us these monsters look like the genuine article, please refrain from calling them “real” or “lifelike.” We can do without any online comments this summer along the lines of, “The T-Rex in Jurassic World Rebirth is so realistic” or “I can’t believe how real that brontosaurus looked!” Because how would we know? There is no one alive on the planet today who has seen a velociraptor or stegosaurus in the wild. There are no photos of dinosaurs. There is no video. No primary-source records exist of how actual dinosaurs actually appeared. There are no dinosaurs in zoo settings for us to observe. They lived in the distant past, and while we have unearthed fossil proof of their existence, none of them left any Polaroids which humans can use to judge the “realism” factor of these movies. Unlike, say, the cowboys who populate the Western genre of movie – film fans can say with some confidence if a motion picture such as Tombstone or Wyatt Earp comes close to the mark. Photos of cowboys from the 1800s do exist. Now, to be fair, the people who say things like, “Steven Spielberg has created some authentic-looking dinosaurs” might not mean it literally. They might mean something else, such as “The dinosaurs in this movie accord with what experts currently theorize about the appearance of dinosaurs.” (And the emotions the screen lizards evoke – like fear and excitement – are certainly real.) But here’s the thing: Dinosaur experts who have predicted what these creatures looked like (and what the planet’s surface looked like back then) don’t always agree, nor do their opinions stay static. The thinking changes, and our shared concept of how dinosaurs appeared also changes. I am not a paleontologist, but I do recall there was a moment in the history of studying dinosaurs when the conventional wisdom changed – dinosaurs had more feathers, the media-consuming public was told some years ago. So the dinosaurs on screen changed with that shift in thinking. Guys like Spielberg want to get it right, they want to be up on the current theories. But experts can be wrong. I’m not trying to be conspiracy-minded. However, if the plot of Jurassic Park ever does come to pass in the real world, and humankind somehow manages to resurrect dinosaurs, it’s a safe bet we will discover that the conventional thinking is wrong in some important ways. For all we know, the fire-breathing Godzilla may be the most accurate depiction of a dinosaur that the movie industry has ever come up with. In which case, they better evacuate Tokyo as soon as possible! Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 32 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly graphic-novel group.
I’m Fine with a Spinal Tap Sequel
By Dan Brown Much to my surprise, I find myself not dreading the Spinal Tap sequel. Set to land in theatres September 12, Spinal Tap II: The End Continues once again features Rob Reiner as filmmaker Marty Di Bergi chronicling the career of the band that made songs like Stonehenge, Big Bottom and Sex Farm somewhat famous. I’m surprised at my own reaction because, well, most sequels suck. And I have a high opinion of the 1984 original. If you’re a fan of the movie, as I am, you have no doubt spent many hours repeating lines like “These go to 11,” “He died in a bizarre gardening accident” and “What’s wrong with being sexy?” with your friends. People have had decades of repeated viewings to build up This is Spinal Tap in their minds, so why try to compete with that legacy? As a group, sequels, remakes, and reboots have an underwhelming reputation – when they don’t suck canal water outright. Movie fans hate them by reflex after being force-fed a diet of retreads they never asked for. Only the odd one, like Top Gun: Maverick, taps into the magic of the original, becoming a box-office success in the process. Most of them are . . . meh. Yet I’m hopeful. There are several reasons for this optimism. For starters, the premise for the new film is a promising one. This is Spinal Tap became a legendary motion picture for one reason: It contained every joke about rock and roll that could be made on the big screen. Band members constantly dying, musicians who can’t find their way to the stage, a manager whose favourite tool for settling disputes is a cricket bat, elaborate set pieces malfunctioning during concerts, it even had a Yoko Ono figure. The End Continues will succeed if it contains every joke about aging rockers. This is the creative team’s comedic window of opportunity. It’s a rich vein to mine. One of the locations for filming Spinal Tap II was in Florida, so with any luck there’s a spoof on how foreign rockers like AC/DC’s Brian Johnson flee to the Sunshine State once they’ve made their fortune. Another possible source of laughs could be Tap being consistently judged not worthy of induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Is there any idea less rock and roll than that of a museum devoted to rock music and rock musicians? This July will see the members of Black Sabbath reunite for a farewell concert in Birmingham. Surely the notion of aging rockers getting the band back together for one more big show is an opportune one for jokes? I also have faith in the group of comedians who made Spinal Tap II. Reiner, Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer – this is a formidable team. They’ve had decades to come up with jokes about their characters, plus their improv powers have only grown greater in the interim. Collaborating on other mockumentaries, such as Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show and A Mighty Wind, gives these players even more range to work with. And let’s face it, this will likely be the last Spinal Tap flick, so that may give Reiner and company the courage to go all out and not hold back. I can see a funeral for one of the band’s members being another setting for huge laughs. I can even picture a real-life scenario in my mind in which the sequel generates Oscar nominations. I know the Academy is prejudiced against comedies, but wouldn’t you love to see the members of Spinal Tap give their acceptance speech in character? Are you looking forward to the Spinal Tap sequel? Are you a fan of the original? Let me know in the comment box below! Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 32 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly graphic-novel group.
Robert Pattinson Versus Himself
NOTE: Dan Brown’s column will now be appearing twice a week on the website of L.A. Mood Comics & Games; on Tuesdays, he’ll write about graphic novels, and on Thursdays he will cover other pop-culture topics. By Dan Brown You know a movie star has made it when he faces off against . . . himself. The latest example is Robert Pattinson who – through the plot device of cloning – is his own worst nightmare in the movie Mickey 17, which landed in theatres March 7. But not just any actor can do battle with his own mirror image. A Hollywood star has to earn the right to trade blows with a doppelganger by achieving a certain stature first. He has to overcome every other possible enemy – gangsters, terrorists, Nazis, aliens – over a number of earlier movies for this career avenue to open up. The earliest example I can recall of the trend is when the character played by Jean-Claude Van Damme in 1991’s Double Impact pounded on his twin brother. Arnold Schwarzenegger fought his clone nine years later in The Sixth Day. Then Tom Cruise got in on the act in 2013 in the film Oblivion. Gemini Man in 2019 featured Will Smith hunting . . . Will Smith. Strangely, veteran tough guy Sylvester Stallone has never gone up against himself on the big screen. But I have to believe that at some point during the 1980s Stallone contemplated doing a project involving Rocky Balboa trying to punch John Rambo’s lights out. At that time, it would have been easy to get it greenlit. Even relatively young stars are going this route. Next month will see the release of Sinners, the Southern gothic vampire flick in which the ascendant Michael B. Jordan plays identical siblings. The smart money says it will include at least one scene of a scrap between them. You may also be aware Robert De Niro is currently playing two roles in Alto Knights, released last week; the two gangster characters are childhood friends, not twins, and critics have slammed the picture for being confusing for that reason. That’s how accustomed audiences have grown to this convention. The closest Bruce Willis ever got was when he played an older and younger version of the same bounty hunter in 2012’s Looper, so I don’t count that one, even if the two versions of the character were enemies.Nor do I include the 1988 Jeremy Irons movie Dead Ringers, since it was a thriller, not an action film. Also out is Mark Hamill’s brief encounter with his own dark side in 1980’s The Empire Strikes Back – that case was a single scene, not the entire premise. As I mentioned above, not every actor has the necessary drawing power to play on a double bill with themselves. In Hollywood, you have to earn the right to be your own opponent by building up your filmography over a number of years and motion pictures. For that reason, starring opposite himself would make no sense for an actor in his debut film – he wouldn’t be that well-known. That’s why you have to work your way to the top, fighting other types of bad guys, before you can trade blows with your twin or clone. At a certain level of fame, a star is the only one audiences will buy with the necessary strength to go toe-to-toe with himself. By process of elimination in all his previous movies, he becomes the next logical adversary. I leave it up to you to decide if Pattinson fits that bill. I tend to give him a break since he has followed an unusual career trajectory, alternating smaller projects with blockbusters.You will notice I have used the male pronoun throughout this column, a choice I made from not being able to come up with any examples of women action stars being part of this trend. I would argue Linda Hamilton long ago had enough action cred to fight herself, perhaps in the form of a Terminator version of Sarah Connor. I would pay to see that.And we know from previous instalments that androids and cloning are part of the Alien universe. Who doesn’t want to see Sigourney Weaver star in Alien: Ripley vs. Ripley? Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 32 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly graphic-novel group.
Movie Mentors Inspired Me
NOTE: Dan Brown’s column will now be appearing twice a week on the website of L.A. Mood Comics & Games; on Tuesdays, he’ll write about graphic novels, and on Thursdays he will cover other pop-culture topics.By Dan Brown It’s the movies that made me the mentor I am today. If it wasn’t for motion pictures like To Sir, With Love, The Empire Strikes Back, and Stand and Deliver, I’m not sure I would be one. It was the movie mentors – Sir, Yoda, Jaime Escalante – who showed me how I could inspire young people. Those characters also provided proof of how rewarding mentorship could be not just for the young person, but the mentor, too. Some background: In my day job, I work as the editorial-support manager for the Western Gazette, the student-owned and-run newspaper here in London. What does that mean, exactly? I like to think of it in these terms: Each new academic year, a recent grad serves as editor-in-chief. I, on the other hand, am the paper’s “mentor-in-chief.” (I could, and will, write a column another day about how I love the Gazette’s mentoring culture, every student gets in on helping newsroom newbies.) I’m also a journalism instructor at the same university, so have served as a mentor to students I meet through my classes. But my interest in mentoring started decades ago, long before I got my current position and long before I began teaching at Ontario universities. I was still a student in grade school. The original spark might very well have been when I watched Sidney Poitier’s To Sir, With Love for the first time, likely on afternoon TV in the 1970s one summer. It might have been Channel 10 or Global or even TVOntario that aired it. As you may recall, Poitier plays an engineer who can’t get a role in his own industry, so he turns to teaching as his Plan B, winding up tutoring a bunch of tough kids in 1966 East London. The unruly group of working-class teens initially gets the better of their teacher. In a fit of desperation he decides to throw out the curriculum so he can impose his own structure on the class, which allows him to school the motley crew about the facts of life they will need to survive. Gradually, they warm to his brand of tough love, and just as the students start to fall in love with him, he returns the affection. All that and a heartbreaker of a song by Lulu! It still brings tears to my eyes. Skip ahead a couple years. When The Empire Strikes Back comes out in 1980, George Lucas replaces acclaimed actor Alec Guinness (who played Ben Kenobi in the original Star Wars) with a green muppet as the new spokesman for the Force in Luke’s training scenes on the swamp planet Dagobah. To this day, I still ponder Yoda’s lessons. Is there really only a “do or do not” and no “try”? Isn’t that a tad harsh? When Yoda uttered the word “unlearn” it blew my mind. I knew what learning was, I was doing it at Valleyview Public School, but “unlearning” opened up all kinds of possibilities I had never thought about before. My favourite scene in all of Star Wars comes from that sequence, when Yoda describes the nature of the Force to a maturing Luke and tells him people are “luminous beings,” not just crude flesh and blood. Stirring stuff. As a teen, I would be riveted by Edwards James Olmos’s turn as real-life calculus teacher Jaime Escalante. His determination to help a class of young Latinos in L.A. reach their potential was inspiring. I marveled when he told them the Mayas invented the concept of zero, adding “You burros have math in your blood.” Olmos says he asks only one thing of his students: A desire to learn: “If you don’t have the ganas, I will give it to you because I’m an expert.” Math was never my thing. But I could see how he lit the fires in the eyes of his students.And there were others: Ben Kenobi himself, Joe Clark (as played by Morgan Freeman in Lean on Me), Robin Williams in Dead Poet’s Society (it was the book, not the movie, which introduced me to Miss Jean Brodie when I was a student at a British high school for a year). By the way, it wasn’t apparent to me until years after I became an instructor at Western that what I was doing was mentoring. One day, after helping a student from one of my classes, I got an email that said, “You’re a great mentor.” I had never thought of it in that way before. So that made it official. Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 32 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly graphic-novel group.
Dav Pilkey Proves My Theory About Childhood Crimes
By Dan Brown I have a theory. It goes like this: All the things we got punished for as kids, are the same things that make us successful as adults. Dav Pilkey is certainly proof of that. (It’s pronounced “Dave.”) Who’s he? He’s the guy who failed at childhood but is an astonishing success as a grownup. And the things that got him in trouble when he was younger are the same attributes behind his outrageous triumphs now that he’s older. Pilkey is in the news this week because a movie he inspired, Dog Man, is the top-earning film in theatres right now. Pilkey drew and wrote the comic series upon which the animated Dog Man motion picture is based. It features a dog-headed police officer and was popular enough to seize the No. 1 spot at the weekend box office. Pilkey has also created many other comics series, including the Captain Underpants books, which you may have heard of. But the adults in his life weren’t always encouraging. In fact, his fantastic creativity is the reason why as a young learner, Pilkey’s desk was placed outside the classroom – in the school corridor away from other students. “When Dav Pilkey was a kid, he was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia,” the author’s note in one of his books explains, “Dav was so disruptive in class that his teachers made him sit out in the hallway every day.” However, he was not deterred: “Luckily, Dav loved to draw and make up stories. He spent his time in the hallway creating his own original comic books – the very first adventures of Dog Man and Captain Underpants.” At least one of his teachers tried to put a stop to this. “In the second grade, Dav’s teacher ripped up his comics and told him he couldn’t spend the rest of his life making silly books. Fortunately, Dav was not a very good listener.”And thus a comic empire was born. Pilkey’s other characters include Big Dog and Little Dog, Dragon, Cat Kid and Super Diaper Baby. I don’t know about you, but the unnamed Grade 2 teacher from Pilkey’s past calls to my mind these Pink Floyd lyrics: “When we grew up and went to schoolThere were certain teachers whoWould hurt the children in any way they couldBy pouring their derision upon anything we didExposing every weakness, however carefully hidden by the kid” I know there are many supportive adults out there, but the ones at Pilkey’s school aimed to crush his spirit; all they actually accomplished was to guarantee he would become one of pop culture’s best-known and most successful creators. Almost every other author working today would love to have his track record. Nor does my theory apply just to the creator of Dog Man. Not to make this about myself, but I feel like I was treated the same way by a few of my teachers – even if my desk never got permanently moved out to the hall. When report card time came around, mine were filled with comments from teachers that went something like this:“Daniel spends his time in class socializing and talking too much with the other children.”“Daniel would rather read his comic books than the class-assigned readings.”“Daniel doesn’t care enough about his school work and prefers to draw superheroes.” You can probably guess where I’m going with this. Eventually, I graduated from elementary and high school. Then, years later, my job path took me into journalism, a career in which I’m required to strike up conversations with the people around me all the time. For decades, I’ve made my living talking to strangers. Turns out all that socializing was good practice. As a kid, I read Marvel comics like Fantastic Four and the Uncanny X-Men. Now I write about the entertainment industry and report on the latest superhero blockbusters because those throwaway comics of my school years have moved to the centre of the cultural discourse, a development my teachers didn’t see coming. And as I look back on all the sketching I did in elementary school, I realize that was when I started developing the observational skills that would serve me so well as a reporter. So, parents, take note. If your child has their nose stuck in a book all the time, that habit will likely pay off down the road. It will open doors you can’t even see from this point in their life. They may very well wind up a writer like me. Or, if your son’s or daughter’s favourite thing to do is play hockey, you may have a future athlete or coach on your hands. If your progeny seem to have an unhealthy interest in bugs and animals, they may one day turn out to be a scientist or veterinarian. You get the idea. Look, I don’t know what your kids like to do. But I do know there’s a more-than-fair chance that what seems like a silly pursuit could one day turn out to be more than just a childish fixation; it just might become their life’s work. Dan Brown has covered pop culture for more than 32 years as a journalist and also moderates L.A. Mood’s monthly graphic-novel group.
