What I’m referring to is a tiny gesture that has everything to do with courtesy on the road and making our divided world just a little more humane.

If you’re a veteran driver like I am, who has had a license for 40 years, you likely have seen “the wave.”

Let’s say you’re stuck in busy traffic and some car from a side street is trying to ease into your lane.

Good Samaritan that you are, you stop going forward to let them in.

As they pull into the path ahead of you, they stick a hand out the driver’s side window and motion in your direction. 

That’s “the wave.” 

And it’s disappearing.

The wave, as I call it, is more than just a gesture. Sometimes it’s accompanied by a smile from the other driver, who is acknowledging that by letting them in you have done them a solid.

After all, you don’t know that other driver. 

Allowing them some space ahead of your vehicle is not something you’re required to do by law – I do it because I recognize they may be having a tough day, and it costs me almost nothing, maybe a few seconds, to be courteous.

And some day, I’ll be in the same position. I’ll be the one having a rough time who needs a small break from the universe in the form of a kindly fellow commuter.

Many people have said chivalry is dead, and the wave is one way of acknowledging the chivalrous spirit. It’s the opposite of road rage – it’s road gratitude.

(It reminds me of another driving habit, flashing your high beams to oncoming cars when you pass a police speed trap, but that might be a country thing.)

The wave is like saying, “Thank you” when the person ahead of you holds a door open for you when you’re entering a building. They weren’t mandated by law to do that.

I hope I don’t overstate the case, but it’s one of those tiny things that makes life in a city such as London tolerable, enjoyable even.

And I’m worried, since I haven’t seen it for some time.

I haven’t been keeping detailed notes, but I would say in the last year or two I’ve let a fair number of people in ahead of me in traffic on my daily drive to and from work. But something’s missing.

Those other drivers don’t appear to feel any impetus to wave anymore. 

I think I’m being just as gracious a driver as I’ve always been. And I’m driving as much as I always did. But I suppose it could be my fault. 

Perhaps people fell out of the habit during the pandemic. If so, screw you COVID-19.

Or maybe distracted driving is such a problem that people aren’t paying enough attention to lift their hand for just a second or two. Maybe tinted windows play a part. Or perhaps those drivers feel entitled to butt in ahead of me in traffic. All are possible.

In fairness, I will say there is one group of drivers who can still be counted on to give the wave: School-bus operators. 

If you want to see another human being light up on your morning commute, obey the law and stop when a school bus in the other lane has its lights flashing. 

And those bus drivers certainly don’t have to wave to you!